She's Not Okay
by Susie G
Summary: This is a continuation of Warning digging more into Emily and Hotch. The story will lead you on a hunt for missing a girl that helps Emily overcome her ordeal helping her to move on with Hotch. Don't want to give too much away there could be some kissing, you'll have to read and see. 2nd story.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey this is a continuation of Warning delving more into Hotch and Emily's relationship and Emily overcoming the ordeal she suffered. I hope you enjoy reading! I do not own any part of criminal minds and or its affiliates._

* * *

Since the incident in Arizona things at the BAU had pretty much got back to normal, but Hotch and Emily's relationship grew more awkward. They felt as if any feelings towards one another should be hidden, especially at work. It was as if they had taken one step forward and two steps back.

Emily had been showing all signs of improvement in getting over her ordeal, but she kept a constant reminder of it with Bryan, Tracey, and Hannah's pictures sitting on her desk. She hid her feelings well, although her feelings were not hid to those close to her, for the teams promise of not inner profiling had been broken exposing her true emotions. Emily so needed that something she could do to pull her out of the abyss, a feeling of still being worthy of her job and helping or saving lives.

Hotch struggles daily with the right words and actions, trying to maintain a standard with his team while at the same time not completely losing Emily. She had opened up to him on the four day drive back to Quantico but her feeling of worthlessness consumed her. He again wanted to feel her in his arms, and make all the pain go away.

* * *

The team stepped off the jet in Augusta, Maine. The icy wind from a cold front took their breath as it swept past their faces.

"Wow it is extremely cold up here, not used to this." JJ said pulling her coat tighter around her torso.

Emily had come off the jet behind her, "I didn't even notice." She responded to JJ.

JJ looked back at her with concerning eyes then continued on.

Rossi and Hotch watch as Emily took the last few steps to the pavement. Rossi looked to Hotch and knew that he felt as if he was sharing the same pain as Emily. Rossi couldn't think of much to say but had a few words of comfort to give, "Just keep being her friend and she'll come around." Rossi then continued off the jet.

The word, friend, hit Hotch hard. He thought they had past that point, as a matter of fact they did. He had to keep it that way and get her back. She had made him feel whole again since the loss of Hailey. The simple thought of Emily in his arms once again needing him, like she did standing there that morning, against a beautiful sunrise in the Arizona desert had his heart beating faster. His thoughts went to the present looking at her walking away with the wind tousling her hair. Hotch suddenly came to the realization that he still needed to get off the jet. They did have a case to work and for this particular case time is of the essence.

* * *

Inside the Augusta, Maine police station the team began to work frantically. A three year old girl named Hannah had gone missing.

There had been a recent string of missing girls that end up being found dead a day later in a public location. This is a clue that the un-sub wants his work to be seen. He isn't trying to hide it and is willing to take risks.

Hotch went straight to delegating tasks, "Rossi and Prentiss I want you to speak with the parents. Reid and Morgan go to the site of the abduction. Myself and JJ will work on looking at the most recent abductions trying to make connections."

* * *

Rossi and Emily pulled up to the parent's house. The yard was flooded with reporters and policemen. Both walked side by side up to the front door. Rossi looked at Emily concerned, "Are you going to be okay?"

She looked back at him with disheartening eyes, "Situations like this are never easy, I've done them before, I'll be fine." She said reassuring him. Emily knocked.

A petite blonde woman with short hair answered the door. Her eyes were puffy, red and stained with tears. It had been eight hours since the abduction and the look of grief and worry had begun to take its toll. A man came up standing behind her and he was the first to speak. "We've told the police everything we know. You need to be out there looking for our daughter!"

Emily responded to the distraught father's harsh tone with a confident, reassuring voice, "Sir we are agents Prentiss and Rossi from the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico, Virginia. The best way for us to help you is to let us talk to you and your wife. We may recognize something the officers didn't." Emily waited for a response.

The father pushed open the door, leading them to the living room.

* * *

Morgan and Reid were at the store located two blocks from where Emily and Rossi were. Morgan looked around, "This isn't your typical grocery store. Locals would be more likely to know this place instead of outsiders. There is even a section for little kids over in the corner."

Reid looked around and found the exact spot where she was taken. He walked over to it. "Here is where she was taken."

Morgan walks over and puts his self in the mother's shoes. "So I'm the mom and I see my little girl five feet from me playing with the dolls on the bottom shelf at the end of the isle. I look away to grab some wipes off the shelf, when I look back she's gone."

"Morgan look."

"What is it?"

"Go stand on the other side of the isle and tell me what you see."

Morgan walks past Reid on the other side of the isle and notices a mirror that is located about twenty feet straight in front of Reid by the little girl's dressing room. "From this point of view I can see you plain as day as well as the mother standing in the isle. So if I'm the un-sub I can see the mom turn her head which gives me a chance to grab the girl, but how do I get out of here without be noticed."

Reid looks around and one isle over parallels with the store's wall. He notices a side door that's propped open. Morgan follows him to the side door then back up to the checkout counter where they first came in. Reid gets the attention of the cashier, "Ma'am why is that side door propped open?"

"It's left open every 1st Tuesday of the month from 8am-10am when Wendy from up the road comes and unloads new toys, and kids clothes she and her sister make. It's been left open today because the police wanted the scene left as it was. You know what's a mystery to me is how that little girl was abducted without making a sound."

Morgan looks to Reid, "He has to have some way to keep her quiet when he takes her giving her no chance to scream, and his best time to take her is when Wendy would be un-loading merchandise with her back turned towards him.

Reid looks outside, "Come outside." They go back outside in the chilly weather. "Look you can easily see through the front windows especially if you were passing by. A child could easily be seen and if you knew about the deliveries it would be a great way to slip in and out without being noticed or for that matter making any noise."

"Reid we need to talk to everybody that knows about the deliveries. I'll call Hotch and Rossi to give them a heads up."

While Morgan was dialing Reid added, "Our un-sub is definitely local. He has a two hour time slot one day of each month to watch and wait for his next victim."

* * *

At the station Hotch and JJ were sorting through old cases trying to make connections with the assistance of Garcia. The news they just received from Reid and Morgan, and from what they already deduced, all the abductions were related. They had gone unnoticed for so long because the abductions were so far apart.

JJ was pinning a picture of a three year old, whose body was found over a year ago. "This guy has one heck of a cooling off period. The time between abductions is so long how will we be able to find him?"

Hotch looked up at her, "We have to find him before we find Hannah." Still looking at JJ Hotch had noticed she was acting differently than normal, and asked, "Is there anything bothering you?"

JJ scratches her head then grabs another picture contemplating on telling him what was really bothering her.

"JJ?"

"It's about Emily well about you and Emily."

"What is it?"

"Just forget it; it's not my place to say."

"JJ this team is a family, and if there is something bothering you don't hesitate to tell someone, even if it is about other members of this team including me."

"Well Sir it's not just me it's the whole team. We can see the connection between you and Emily and we don't want you to feel as if you have to hide it. If anything we would be happy for you both. Like you said were family and…" JJ looks down. "I've said too much."

Hotch smiled, "I needed to hear that. It's comforting to know that everyone cares so much." Hotch looks back down to his case file.

"Hotch?"

He looks up at JJ, "Yes?"

"Is Emily going to be okay?"

"In time I believe she will be."

JJ smiled and went back to the task of hanging up case photos on the bulletin board.

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_Let me know what you think? Please Review! I hope you liked it! Part 2 will be posted soon!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Here it is ! Sorry if it moves a little slow I promise the ending will get good. This is necessary information and Emily comes to a realization in this one. Will she be able to overcome her suffering? Hope you enjoy reading!_

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In a very fragile situation Rossi and Emily were tactfully working with Hannah's parents to gain any clues that could help them solve the case. With hesitation Hannah's mom agreed to do a cognitive interview. Emily would walk her through it while Rossi observed.

"Just close your eyes." Emily said holding her hand. "I want you to think back when you were in the store. What did it smell like?"

"It smelled like baby wipes. One of the packages had been ripped open."

"Good, now what was the temperature hot or cold?"

"It was warm and every so often there would be a rush of cold air coming from where the side door was left open." The mother opened her eyes. "The side door was open! The man that took my baby he could've come in that way and slipped right out with her! I should've been paying more attention…"

Emily tried to get back some control, "Ma'am just calm down. I need you to stay with me. Please close your eyes." The mother tried to regain some control and slowly closed them back, "Do you remember hearing anything?"

"A door closing, it sounded like a heavy door with a big latch. It came from the back of the store."

"Good, now did you see anybody?"

"Yeah right before I grabbed the wipes I saw Wendy. I noticed her nod at me and I nodded back saying hello. When I did she threw up her hand and waved with a big smile and then I looked away." She opened her eyes. "Does that help?"

"Yes, thank you." Emily looked at Rossi who was already dialing Morgan's number.

"Morgan."

"Yeah Rossi?"

"The mother said she heard a door close, a heavier type of door coming from the back of the store with a big latch on it. It could be relevant."

"I'll check it out."

Rossi got quiet and walked a few steps away from the parents, "Have you questioned Wendy yet?"

"We are getting ready to."

"Let me know if anything comes up."

"Sure will give you a call."

"Thanks Morgan." Rossi hung up. He walked back over to the parents and took a seat by the mother. "What is your daily routine like? Anything is helpful even if it seems insignificant like going to get the mail or playing outside. Someone could have been watching."

"You mean somebody could have been watching me and my daughter play outside or get the mail!" The mother exclaimed beginning to sob again.

Rossi put his hands over top hers, "It's possible. That's why it's important for us to get all the information we can. So please if you can walk us through one of your days."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "Hannah's always up before 8am to see her daddy off to work. After he leaves I usually will fix breakfast then give her a bath. We will play around the house until the mail comes at about 11am. When we go outside Mr. and Mrs. King across the street are usually on their porch and we always wave because Hannah had liked waving at people ever since she learned how to. Sometimes we may play outside before going back in."

Rossi then asked, "How often do you go to the little store down the road?"

"We always go every 1st Tuesday of the month. I like to look at the new selection of clothes Wendy brings in. Her clothes go pretty fast so I like to be one of the first ones there."

Emily walks over to the front picture window of the house. She points to the house across the street, "Is that Mr. and Mrs. King's house?"

The angered father jumped in, "Are you saying it could be them! They could have my baby!" He ran towards the door and was abruptly stopped by Emily pushing him back.

"Sir, Please! This doesn't help. It may not be them it's just a possibility. We need to do things our way. We don't want to accuse someone if they are innocent."

"But what if she's across that street and there…" He couldn't finish and started crying and walked towards the kitchen. He couldn't say it. The possibility of someone hurting their little girl was too much for him to think about. "Just find her and bring her home safe." His voice said trailing off.

Emily got out her cell phone and stepped outside to call JJ, avoiding Hotch at all costs. She couldn't handle a relationship with him it would be too hard and if they didn't find this girl she wasn't even sure if she could continue her job in the BAU.

JJ answered, "Emily."

"We have a couple across the street as possible suspects. Me and Rossi are going to question them. Have you or Hotch found out anything?"

"Yeah there is a pattern of the victims being found every 7 months and then 5 months alternating each time as if they were deliberately trying not to have a pattern. We did the calculations and our un-sub has been at this for about 3 ½ years because Hannah makes his 7th victim and it's been 7 months since the last body was found. Cause of death is usually strangulation or being beaten. There is evidence of molestation on each of the victims."

"Thanks, have you heard back from Morgan or Reid?"

"Not yet but we will let you know as soon as we hear something."

"Thanks JJ."

Before Emily could hang up JJ quickly got her attention, "Emily. We're going to find her." JJ said trying to reassure her.

Emily despondently replied, "It doesn't always turn out the way we want it to, but I hope your right." She hung up. How could they possibly find this girl before tomorrow morning? _It was impossible. JJ was wrong there was no way they would find her. It's just a waste of time._

Rossi had heard the last part of Emily's conversation as he was stepping out the door, "What doesn't always turn out like we want it to?"

"It was JJ she said we were going to find her."

"And you don't think we will."

"How can I? Nothing is ever like it seems and nothing ever turns out the way you want it to."

Rossi raised his voice, "Emily in order to find her you have to believe we will. That little girl needs us right now. If you don't believe we can find her, how can you believe in what we do? The fact is Emily you don't anymore. Don't you think I know this is all a show your putting on to make us believe you're the same old Emily, but you're not! The Emily I know would be searching around every corner for an answer or another clue and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that at the end of the day we would bring Hannah home safe! You have to believe that! This is not about you. Yeah so what you watched three people be tortured in front of your eyes and there was nothing you could do to save them, but you have a chance to help save this girl and everyone else is doing the work and you're going through the motions! Right now there is something that we are missing and I know you can figure it out! Think Emily! What is it were missing?" Rossi took a step back from his direct, in your face approach to reality and continued, "Come on Emily, you know this."

Emily sniffed and wiped away a few tears. Rossi was right. She needed to believe she could find her. She was mad at herself for being so stupid. Her own self pity was clouding her judgment as a profiler. She had just been going through the motions. For a moment she thought she wasn't the only one suffering she had pulled Hotch down with her.

Rossi grabbed her hand bringing her back to the present, "Do you need me to hold your hand? Tell me what is it that we're missing?"

Emily's jaw dropped, "It's Wendy she wasn't nodding at Hannah's mom she was nodding to show her approval of Hannah, because she didn't act like she recognized Hannah's mom till she said hello, then acknowledged her by waving. Wendy was nodding at the partner."

Rossi smiled, "That's the Emily I know."

Emily's heart raced. _There was hope of saving that little girl, no we are going to save her and bring her home to her parents. _Hotch flashed through her mind. _She needed to fix things with him but now was not the time they were going to save Hannah._

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_Hope you enjoyed this little segment. Let me know what you think please review! Thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy this Chapter! The next chapter will all be about Hotch and Prentiss! Happy Reading!_

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"Morgan its Rossi, Wendy is the un-sub."

"She just left. If she thinks were on to her Hannah may not have much time."

Rossi urgently asked, "Did you get a last name?"

"Williams."

"Okay, Emily is going to call Garcia and get an address. We will meet you back at the station." Rossi said hanging up.

Emily called Garcia, "Hey Garcia work me some magic. I need an address for Wendy Williams."

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Wendy and Mark Williams live on 29 Garden Laine, August, Maine. The directions are being sent to your phone as we speak."

"Thanks Garcia."

"Stay safe my loves."

* * *

At the station the team had put on their Kevlars and made a plan. In less than thirty minutes they had I.D. the un-subs and arrived at their residence.

Emily and Rossi took the front, Hotch and Morgan covered the side doors, JJ and Reid went in the back. With a quick swing of the battering ram, the door swung open. Emily went straight up the stairs with Rossi a few feet behind her. To her right was a loft with a thirteen foot drop, that ran parallel with the hallway leading to a bedroom on the right. Nothing could be seen to the left until they reach the top of the stairs, but they didn't get that chance before they were stopped in their tracks. Wendy came out of the room on their right. She was holding a knife to Hannah's neck. Wendy moved to the edge of the loft. Emily thought of the worse, thinking Wendy might intentionally drop Hannah. In fear of Hannah's life Emily said in a controlled, loud commanding voice, "Hotch. Morgan."

They came in the foyer and saw Wendy half dangling Hannah over the edge of the banister, of the loft with a knife pressed to her neck. Hotch and Morgan put their guns back in their holsters prepared to catch Hannah if the situation was to arise.

JJ and Reid along with a few police officers came to stand in the foyer and by the doorway. No one had a good shot at Wendy and even if they did no one wanted to shoot for fear of her dropping Hannah.

Emily took a few more steps easing closer to the top of the stairs. She assumed that Mark would be in the hallway to the left, waiting for her. She had to do something so she kept easing up the stairs and hesitated before taking the last step, preparing herself for Mark. She shot a quick glance at Hotch.

He caught her glance, nodding in approval of what she was about to do, but his eyes were filled with anguish at the thought of circumstances taking a turn for the worse. His heart beat faster and his stomach was tied in knots. The woman who fills the void in his heart is once again face to face with the adversary. This time there was nothing he could do to save her. It was a waiting game as they all watched it play out. He only hopes that he gets a chance to tell Emily how much he cares about her and how much he loves her. _Love's her? Really? Yes, there was no running from it, no turning back. _This was a woman he truly loved.

Emily responded to the look in his eyes, knowing exactly what they meant. She tilted her head sideways and smiled briefly. Looking back in front of her the cards were in her hands, she just had to play them right. She took that last step to the top and pointed the gun to her left, to face a man charging at her with a knife. She shot, sending the man in a fatal fall onto the hardwood floor now covered in his blood. She turned her attention back towards Wendy.

Wendy looked at the piece of scum that was her husband lying on the floor. "You know I've been wanting to do that for a long time, I just never found the right time." She said tearing up.

Emily took a step forward and said, "But you found the right time to kill all those innocent little girls."

Wendy's eyes changed back to vengeful eyes staring down Emily as she yelled, "It was part of the deal we made! He could molest them but then I get to kill them."

"Is it because you were jealous? So you thought killing those little girls was going to fix his illness." Emily said taking a few more steps closer.

"It did!" She yelled, "For awhile anyways then he'd want another." She said swinging the knife in the air.

Emily ceased the opportunity, grabbing Wendy's hand with her left while getting hold of Hannah with her right arm. The force of Emily pushing against Wendy sent them tumbling to the floor. Rossi was right behind Emily to get Hannah out of the way. Emily then was able to use both of her hands to hold down Wendy's right arm that had the knife in it.

Wendy started screaming, "Let me kill myself! Please, put me out of this misery!"

Emily by this time had straddled her torso; holding her down from flailing around, "Stop! Stop!" Emily yelled at her. Reid and Morgan were up the stairs in a flash and Wendy was quickly subdued in handcuffs.

Emily stood up and went down the stairs. Rossi had hold of Hannah and she asked, "May I?"

"Of course." And Rossi handed her over to Emily.

Emily embraced her as she held on tight. "You're going to be okay." Emily said softly in her ear. "Let's go find mommy and daddy." Emily walked out the front door where she was greeted by Hannah's parents. "She'll need to be checked out, but I'm sure she'll be fine." Emily stated handing her over and then she guided them to the EMTs. She took a step back to look at the family they had reunited. Not many cases turn out like this one but when they did she realized her job was worth doing. She smiled looking on at the family.

"You saved her life." A voice from behind her said.

She turned to see Hotch standing there. "No Hotch we all saved her life."

He smiled, "So I see Rossi made an impression."

Emily dropped her jaw in a smile, "You paired me with him on purpose didn't you?"

"Of course." Hotch smiled and for a brief moment they stared at one another unable to look away from each other's gaze, that soon was interrupted by Morgan.

"I think this calls for a night on the town. When we get back to Quantico drinks are on me."

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_Please review and let me know what you think! Its all about Hotch and Emily next! Hope your enjoying this!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry it took so long to finish! HOpe you enjoy!_

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The night club in Quantico was hopping and the team was able to let loose and enjoy each other's company without thinking about work. They were not there long before Morgan hit the dance floor pulling Emily out with him. She went reluctantly with Morgan not letting her refuse. Once out there she looked as if she was having the time of her life. For the first time, in a long time she really seemed to be enjoying herself, smiling and laughing. She noticeably would throw glances in Hotch's direction.

Morgan noticed her interest in Hotch as he has before and said, "Haven't you talked to him yet?"

"Who?" Emily responded, trying to play it off as if she didn't know who Morgan was talking about.

"Girl, it's written all over your face. You got the hots for him and you know it."

"Who?" She said again and then Derek looked in Hotch's direction. "Hotch! What? No."

"Well then Miss Thang, explain to me why you can't keep your eyes off him."

Emily looked Morgan in the eye, "I can." She said and kept dancing and then without realizing it she looked back in Hotch's direction.

Derek noticed, "See."

Emily flushed a little red knowing she had got caught. _Was it that obvious? How long had he known? And what about that whole inner team profiling and fraternization rules? It would never work._

Her face was pointed at the ground while she was thinking and Derek interrupted her thoughts by saying, "I know what you're thinking, it would never work. But by my observations I think it would and don't worry about Rossi's fraternization rules. He'll get over it."

Emily smiled at him, "You being a profiler can really be annoying, but thanks."

"Anytime." Morgan said and they kept on dancing.

Rossi and JJ were playing darts while Reid was doing magic tricks surrounded by a handful of girls and Garcia and Hotch sat at the bar.

Garcia looked on at Morgan, "Isn't he beautiful, just watch him move."

"I agree." Hotch said jumping down off the stool. "I think I'll go cut in."

Garcia gave him an odd, gaping look with a straw in her mouth. She watched as he walked up to Morgan and Emily and pulled Emily away. Then she realized he thought she was talking about Emily and said aloud to herself, "Go Hotch." Then she went back to sipping on her drink.

* * *

"So, what do you say we get outta here and go for a walk?" Hotch asked.

Emily seemed hesitant, _did it have to be right now? But if I don't talk to him now, when will I talk to him? _"Sure, just let me grab my coat and I'll meet you by the front door." Emily grabbed her black leather coat and flung it on leaving just a hint of her tight red shirt showing. As she walked towards the front door she saw him standing their waiting, smiling at her as she walked. Her mind was confronted with questions and thoughts of uncertainty. _What am I going to say? Should I apologize for the way I've been? Emily why are you even nervous, it's just Hotch, what was the big deal? The big deal is I think I love him. But…no Emily don't over think it _she told herself_. _"Okay, I'm ready." Emily said to him standing at the front door.

Hotch stuck out his hand to lead Emily out the door and just as he was going to pull it back, thinking he was being too forward, he felt her hand in his. He didn't want to let go.

Outside the mugginess was overwhelming and Emily was forced to take her jacket off letting go of something that felt was safe and comfortable, Hotch's hand. "This weather is definitely different from Maine's." She said making small talk trying to avoid silent awkwardness.

"I think there is a storm coming through."

"Yeah probably, you never know about weather this time of year."

"I thought maybe we would walk to the park, I heard that the fountain that is located by the gazebo can be quite spectacular this time of night." Immediately Hotch regretted what he said thinking, t_hat sounded stupid she is going to turn around and go back in the nightclub._

"I'd love to go. I've heard JJ and Garcia talk about it and have always wanted to see it but never found the time or the right person to go with." She said hinting around, trying to work her way into a deeper conversation. Then she just blurted it out, "I'm sorry. I feel like that I brought you down with me when I was getting through all my stuff and I'm sorry for that." She had said it. She apologized. It had made her feel a little better. Unsure of his reaction she started biting her nails. Then she felt his hand on top of hers pushing her hand down slowly.

"Emily, there is no need to apologize. With everything you have been through it was normal to feel the way you did. I had thought after Doyle and coming back to the BAU things would get better for you but to see you suffer again…I wasn't sure how to react. A team member I really care about was suffering and there was nothing I could do about it."

Emily smiled to herself. She looked up and saw in the distance the fountain and the gazebo. The site is spectacular. The water glistens from the light underneath as it flows from the top tier all the way down to the bottom pool. The gazebo was lit up with white lights all the way around the top and down the sides. "It's beautiful isn't it?" She said. Hotch's arm come up as if he was going to put it in the small of her back, she quickly took off walking towards the fountain before he could. She reached the fountain and laid her jacket on the edge and looked at the water as it fell. She shortly felt Hotch's come up beside her. She wouldn't look at him.

"Emily?"

She turned around to face him, "We can't do this." She said. The words out of her mouth even hurt her to hear them.

His heart sunk. His worst fear was coming true she was rejecting him, turning him away. He dropped his head.

"Hotch. It would change everything, what about the team, our lives, the way we profile, it totally changes the whole dynamics and most of all what about Jack…" Raindrops began to fall. Emily looked up and held out her hands to feel the rain.

"Emily lets go under the gazebo." Thunder was heard in the distance seen with faint flashes of lightening. "Emily, hurry let's get under the gazebo." He said, more ordering her this time.

"No." She closed her eyes and let the rain fall on her.

"What is it?" He asked standing across from her in the rain.

"For the first time I can feel it. In Maine when everyone could feel the cold weather and icy wind I just felt numb. I've felt numb since Arizona but now I can feel the rain again." She smiled at him and him at her. This time their eyes never left each other.

Hotch stepped closer to her with their bodies so close each could feel the heat radiating from the other. The rain noticeably dripped down her bare chest, soaking into her already damp shirt. He slipped his hand behind her neck, with the dampened strands of hair falling between his fingers and his thumb resting on the edge of her cheek. His touch was so soft it was almost unnoticeable. He slipped his arm around her waist pulling her even closer feeling the touch of her body against his.

Emily placed her hand on top of his. She closed her eyes trying to avoid an even more intimate contact, this could change everything. No man had ever touched her as Hotch was touching her in this moment. It wasn't just a touch but a feeling of love, one she wanted to fight off, "Hotch…" She started to protest looking back into his eyes.

Hotch placed his cheek against hers whispering into her ear, "I love you." He gently kissed her neck. Emily closed her eyes and leaned her head sideways letting him. He continued to kiss her softly, slowly reaching her dampened chest before he reached the "V" of her shirt he stopped and looked at her.

Emily quickly stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around Hotch kissing him. Her love for him was unspoken but it didn't go unfelt for in that moment they both shared something that had been bottled up for so long. Emily let her hands fall slowly down the front of his chest feeling every ripped muscle down his abdomen, leading her to the bottom of his shirt where her fingertips rested on the top of his jeans.

Hotch moved his hands from her back to the bottom of her shirt letting his hands run up her bare back moving around to the front feeling the roughness of the scar Doyle left, as a constant reminder of the pain she suffered. When his fingers ran across it she didn't move or hesitate acknowledging that it was there. She let his hands keep moving. His touch was so soft as he caressed her curves making her feel she was worthy of feeling love.

Emily slipped the tips of her fingers on the inside, of the top of his jeans, sliding them all the way around to his back. This feeling she was returning back to him sent a feeling of ecstasy shooting through his body. The absence of passion each had been with out for so long sent their feelings in overdrive, spiking the sensation of each other's touch.

Suddenly lightening struck close causing Hotch and Emily to abruptly end what was sure to be the beginning of a very interesting future. Thunder clapped above their heads and they quickly grabbed each other's hand running back to the club, fading off in the distance as the rain began to pour.

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_Well what did you think? Did you like it? Do you want to read more Hotch and Emily intimate stuff or do you like hurt comfort type stuff or a combination of both? Thanks for reading and please review!_


	5. Chapter 5

_I decided to add some more to it! I kind of like where this is going so we will see! Happy Reading! Thanks for the reviews! I love them!_

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The rain beat against her windows and lightening continuously lit up the room where Emily lay snuggled in her bed. She had the covers pulled up to her neck as she laid there with her eyes wide open.

Her mind was on the events that took place earlier that evening. The taste of his lips and the softness of his touch, had released a feeling inside her she had not felt in a long time. She wanted more and she longed to be close, feeling his body against hers. With that thought she closed her eyes and again was wrapped in his embrace, falling into him. It was her safe place.

Thunder boomed overhead jolting her back to the present where she was alone. She threw the covers off and sat up in bed, staring at the floor.

The way he made her feel frightened her on so many levels. She thought she was getting over her many ordeals but with the thought of being in a relationship, especially one with the leader of their team she came to the reality of how much baggage she had to carry. Things she never spoke of, except maybe once or twice, they were nightmares that haunted her dreams.

She didn't think of it till now, but Hotch doesn't know about her dreams. They would cause her to wake up screaming, broke out in a sweat. What would Hotch think? How could he know all her weaknesses?

Emily was beginning to feel vulnerable. Her thoughts were overwhelming to the point of bringing tears to the surface. She wiped them with her hand and then looked at them. Why had she been crying so much showing the world her vulnerability? This is not who she is. She was stronger than that, she could always keep it together, but now more recently she had been exposing the pain she is suffering.

Her bare feet connected with the cool hardwood floor, getting off her bed. She made her way to the safe and opened it pulling out folders and pictures of people, scattering them on her bed.

The first picture she saw was of her, Mathew Benton and John Cooley. The first thing that popped into her mind was the abortion she had. Her hand went straight down to her stomach. Tears flowed freely down her face for the little one she carried, the fact she would be a mother right now if she would've never have gone through it and the thought of telling Hotch. What would he think? What if it changed his whole perspective of her? That one decision changed her whole life and the life of her friend Mathew.

Mathew's death went through her mind and her heart broke all over again. If she hadn't went through with the abortion maybe he wouldn't have questioned the church and ended up where he is now, gone. She suddenly felt sick at the thought of this all being because of a decision she made.

She slipped to the floor and cried for them.

A few minutes passed and she reached for a folder that contained all the information of Ian Doyle and Lauren. Her mind was overwhelmed at the thought of him. She closed her eyes and flashes of her life with him passed in front of her. Had she really fallen for him, but pushed it out of her mind because she had to or was it all in her head. Had her mind been tricked at playing the part of Lauren? Was Lauren in love with him and Emily wasn't? That part of her life is filled with uncertainty. She lost a piece of herself. She wasn't Emily. She was Lauren a woman in love, with a man that led a dangerous life. What would Hotch think?

She felt of the scar on her stomach. She gasped for a moment, at the thought that Hotch might have felt it. She wasn't for sure if he did, because she had been so wrapped up in the moment. Her mind wondered if he did feel it, would he have hesitated or flinched.

It was too much she couldn't bear to think anymore of Ian Doyle and all the years he stole from her life.

She laid the file down and grabbed the three pictures of Tracey, Hannah and Jacob. At first Emily smiled at them and then her thoughts went to the painful memory of their passing. No it wasn't her fault but she couldn't help but still feel some guilt. She almost had the same ending as they did and right now for a brief moment she wished did.

Emily was wearing down. All these years it has built up and now when she desperately wanted to move on with Hotch, she found herself in a place where she couldn't, unless she brought everything out in the open.

She wasn't sure she could do that.

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_It wasn't much, but yet it was kind of a lot. Tell me what you think? I would love to hear your opinions! Please Review_


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